why are there any theists in foxholes at all?

well said, sir!

there are no theists in foxholes for a simple reason: if you believed that your destiny is written, and whatever has been written cannot be undone...and if you believe that the lord works in mysterious ways and whatever the lord has in store for you will be good...and if you believe that you are going to a better place when you die then you will not be hiding in a foxhole

if your god is indeed omnipotent, omniscient, and omni-benevolent, and you believe s/he exists, what the hell are you doing in the foxhole in the first place?

hence, and i say this with the above logic firmly in support of this: there are only atheists in foxholes

makes more sense, right?

btw, what are theists doing in the foxhole anyway? either they should believe in turning the other cheek (in which case, they need not be at war at all), or they should believe in the power of prayer (in which case, they can pray from home), unless, of course, they are looking forward to life in the hereafter to come quicker through a bullet (in which case, they shouldn't be hiding in a foxhole)...beats me really!

on a more serious note: it was pointed out to me that there indeed are theists in foxholes. in such a case, i responded that this would not be possible without serious cognitive dissonance, when i suddenly realised that when it comes to being a theist, cognitive dissonance is probably a mandatory requirement. so, i guess i was wrong to conclude that there are no theist in foxholes


a theist in a foxhole is either expecting his god to suspend the rules of physics for the benefit of this one person: himself (decidedly, and self-confessedly undeserving), and/or harm/kill someone else, regardless of the fervency of that person's religiosity or belief. this cognitive dissonance manifests itself in every danger, harm, and/or disaster that the believer escapes from, when s/he attributes this safe passage to the supernatural entity who s/he believes has a special attachment to him/her. to me, it reflects an enormous amount of self-centredness and megalomania that if there exists an entity capable of creating this universe, such a deity is interested in my personal well-being, and intervenes time-and-again in suspending the laws of the universe in my favour, as and when i require it to be so. you cannot get more arrogant than this!

nothing to add

on the other hand, the corollary that there are no atheists in suicide vests is absolutely true, and for the same reasons

caveat lector: there are no studies known to me to prove this either way. this blogpost is not a statement of fact but of coming to a logical conjecture using known data

in any case...

as an aside: interestingly, this humorous take on the already humorous murphy's laws was not received very well by the theists i know. they could not understand the humour at all! i wondered why till i realised that they do not see humour in this due to the exact same cognitive dissonance that allows them to lead normal lives in the 21st century, while believing in bronze-age ideas about the universe. or maybe it is just the way i tell the joke (badly, i am sure). then again, it might be that this is too close to reality to be funny, specially for the theists. who knows? who cares?